Mark Cuban Buys Sports

July 15, 2008 · Filed Under News 

Billionaire Mark Cuban, tired of the opposition he has encountered from NBA management in his role as owner of the Dallas Mavericks and frustrated with opposition from the MLB owners’ association in his attempt to buy the Chicago Cubs, liquidated almost all his personal wealth and holdings and purchased the entirety of sports for an undisclosed but undoubtedly large sum on Monday, The Onion reports.

“I’m pleased and excited to announce to fans of-well, of everything, really-that a new era has begun in the game, activity, contest, race, national pastime, world championship tournament, sport, or sports that you love so much,” a cheerful Cuban said Tuesday morning in a press conference held to announce his acquisition. “So many of the things that have frustrated me about sports-the officiating, the ivory-tower attitude of the powers-that-be, the fact that I am not in control of every single aspect of them-all of that is about to change.”

The exact details of the thousands of exact terms and conditions of Cuban’s purchase have yet to be released. However, lawyers confirm that the deal makes Cuban the majority owner of sports, with at least a 51 percent share of sporting leagues and organizations including but by no means limited to Major League Baseball, the National Football League, the National Basketball Association, the National Hockey League, the Professional Golfers’ Association, NASCAR, IndyCar, Major League Soccer, the WNBA, the LPGA, the Bassmaster Tour, the NCAA, FIFA, the International Olympic Committee, the Union Cycliste Internationale, Formula 1 Racing, the International Rugby League, and all their affiliate and associate leagues in perpetuity.

· Written by Jon · 1 Comment

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One Response to “Mark Cuban Buys Sports”

  1. sports » Blog Archive » Mark Cuban Buys Sports on July 15th, 2008 11:24 pm

    [...] unknown . Excerpt: … of the Dallas Mavericks and frustrated with opposition from the MLB owners’ association in his attempt to buy the Chicago Cubs, liquidated almost all his personal wealth and holdings and purchased the entirety of sports for an […] [...]

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